The first step is always admitting...

King Diaper loves therapy!
Overwhelmed is one word that describes me on most days.  This isn't related to work or my travel schedule.  I'm pretty sure that I'm not the only mother to ever feel this way and am not professing anything new really.

Let me preface everything that I'm about to say with the fact that I am thankful and grateful for my overwhelming life.  And now, you wonder, what I even have to say if I'm grateful.

King Diaper goes to speech and physical therapy every week.  And our main mode of conversing at this point is a lot of screaming and grunting.  Sure, there are a few words, but more screaming.  Pretty normal for the most part of a two year old.  But throw in the fact that the speech therapist is recommending sign language and games to encourage words, and it does become overwhelming.

This past week, while on the road, I got a text from my mother telling me that the speech therapist says his is trying to imitate words and sign language.  Since I'm not able to go to speech therapy with him each week, I don't know what words they are signing and how to even sign them.  I have managed to locate some starter signs for basic things.

When we are eating, getting a bath, and having story time at the end of the day - it gets lost in the shuffle.  Yes, I'm trying to do all of these things, but my mind is stuffed.  At this point I know more medical terms and jargon related to his prematurity, chronic lung, and pulmonary hypertension than I ever thought possible.  Now, I'm trying to sign while trying to survive a screaming toddler.  And maybe this isn't so different from every other mother out there.  Most mothers are all overwhelmed on some level.  The cause for that emotion is just different and dictated by the individual child.

Yes, that is a buggy full of baby dolls!  I'm man enough
for this!
Parenthood has made me really rethink students and parents from my teaching career.  I can remember that glazed over look during parent conferences.  I would be standing there recommending activities to help their child.  As a young teacher with no children, I couldn't figure out why they all had that look!

I know now!  Its a lot to take in!  Sure we do all of the normal things at home - singing, reading, talking to our son, playing outside and all the rest of it.  Yes, I do try to incorporate things from therapy into our daily routine, but it is more difficult than it would seem.  I'll keep trying, but admitting that it is overwhelming is a way for me to keep my sanity at this point.  And I'm okay with that.

By the way, in case you want to know how to sign the word "more".  Drop by my house, or hop on Skype with us.  It is "more snack", "more books", "more songs", more, more more.  He signs the word more emphatically for anything he might want.

The word "Bye" is a daily favorite.  I will take that as progress.  He can actually say "bye" verbally.  He may say it when someone comes to our front door.  It is interchangeable with hello, and it is his way of shooing you out the door too!  It is also his way of coming to terms that he is about to leave something, so "bye" to pine cones or "bye" to the dog that we are passing by on our walk.

I'm okay with being overwhelmed.  However, I hope that this year I will start to be less overwhelmed and more into a comfortable routine.  Or is that just wishful thinking on my part?  I have no idea how to answer that.  Maybe I need to just strive to become comfortable with the overwhelming.

From our house to yours, "More" and "Bye"!